Don't Envy Me
by johnnycakex3
Summary: Everyone has a story that remains untold. Everyone has at least one deep secret. You think you know me. Well, guess again.


**Disclaimer:** _I definitely don't own any of the characters from the BSC books._

**Note:** _Haha, this was out of boredom. I've been wanting to do a BSC fic, just for the heck of it. I'm not sure if I'll write anymore on this. Leave me your suggestions, please? And if you do want me to write more, tell me if I should do a chapter with each character's view, or make this just a Stacey story. Kay? Thanks a lot!_

I couldn't pretend it was awkward, seeing all my friends change so much. It wasn't that I didn't want them to grow up and find themselves - I think I was just envious. They were figuring themselves out.

I was still clueless about myself.

The funny thing is, I was already Miss Sophistication. Gorgeous, smart, mature, ready-for-anything. Big, tough city girl with class and style.

Who would have thought that I had become this mess of a person?

From an outsider's view, I still had everything. Even though I was just a sophomore, I had tons of upperclassmen friends. Not just any friends, either. Popular ones, the ones everyone wants to be. I had a senior boyfriend, Evan Mathews, who treated me like a queen. Everyone treated me like that, though. Despite the young age, I was co-captain of the varsity cheer/dance squad.

Yes, an outsider would definitely tell you that Stacey McGill had it made.

Well, they'd be shocked to find out the truth - that everyone has a story that remains untold, everyone has a secret that they hide with all their power. You think you know someone. You probably don't. People are so complex, and so secretive. Or maybe that's just me.

"Hey Stace," Claudia Kishi said unsurely, looking cautious. My ex-best friend.

Damn it, I missed Claudia sometimes. Well, most of the time. I think she knew me pretty well; I didn't hide much from her. But maybe that's because I was only thirteen. I didn't know much about life at thirteen, even though I thought I did. "Claud." My voice was smooth and snotty, but I didn't falter. I had an image, and I didn't want to blow it and start all over.

"I was just wondering...are you okay?" she finally asked, after stalling for a moment. The last time we had really talked was over the summer, nearly four months ago. We had tried to have a sleep-over, but it ended with me calling my mom and leaving early. I don't think either of us knew what was wrong. I can make guesses though - I was afraid to be close to anyone. The friends I had made towards the end of freshmen year, they weren't close. They thought they were, but they were clueless. I guess I just liked that better. That way, I didn't have to care about anyone. Caring about people is just too much stress, I had decided.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I asked, sounding annoyed. If I were Claud, I would have smacked me. I had no right to be such a bitch to the one person who cared to notice something was wrong.

"You've gotten pretty thin. Since school started. I'm just worried. I don't know what the hell I did to you, but I still care about you. Okay?" Claud looked close to tears, but I just shrugged.

"I'm on a diet. Fuck off"

Claud raised an eyebrow, and the tears that had glossed her eyes over were now gone. Anger replaced them. "You think you're something else, don't you? You think you're cool, huh? Go ahead, treat me like crap. Act like the sophisticated little bitch we all know you are. Don't come crying to me when your world falls down"

Claudia stormed down the halls of Stoneybrook High, and I saw her meet up with Abby Stevenson. They had become close over the past two years. Most the old BSC members had broken off together. The funny thing was that Logan was more apart of my group than any other "Ex-BSC Group". We had dated freshman year; he had cheated on Mary Anne with me. That had been the end of most of mine and Logan's BSC friendships. We hadn't cared. Now he was dating one of my "best friends", Livi Greene. The big rumor was that they had been "all around the bases.

"Hey sexy," came a voice from behind me. I put on a faux grin as I turned to greet Evan. He wrapped his arms around me, kissing my lips roughly. It had been rumored we had been "all the way home" too, though that was a lie. We had almost broken up when I refused to have sex with him. I don't know why I refused; I was a labeled whore, anyway.

"Hi," I murmured, pressing my body close to his. Evan broke away, grinning widely. His shaggy brown hair looked a little ruffled, and his huge green eyes sparkled as they usually did. No doubt about it, he was a babe. But I didn't love him, like I claimed to. No, I barely even liked him. He wasn't very romantic, and he was a bit crude. That didn't matter, though; he made me popular. That was the important part, I tried to convince myself.

"Coming over to my house after school? Some others are comin' over, and Ronny's bringing some fun stuff."

I grinned again, and nodded. I knew that "fun stuff" could be anything from weed to hard liquor. I had tried both, though, so it wasn't a huge deal anymore. "Who knows," I added seductively, pulling close to him. "Maybe we'll get to go around all the bases tonight." I kissed him hard, then turned and walked away, leaving him grinning stupidly.

If I wanted to keep him around, I had to satisfy him.

If I wanted to keep my image, I had to keep him around.

As I headed towards my last class of the day, I wondered how I had managed to screw my life up so badly.


End file.
